Pregnant Women Aren't Drinking Enough Alcohol
In a culture obsessed with not being sober, do some people really believe it's okay for expectant mothers to drink?
Eight months ago, I decided to stop drinking. My initial sober journey started because I wanted to “cleanse” from alcohol like many people do. Whether it’s for Dry January, maybe you had a little too much to drink on vacation, or perhaps you’re doing some new diet that requires you to cut out alcohol. Whatever the case may be, I am here to tell you the only cleanse from alcohol is to stop drinking altogether. In these past months, I have never been more clear, confident, and healthier. Let’s not even discuss how much money I’ve saved by not buying wine every week and going to the bar. I have genuinely enjoyed being with myself for the first time in a long time. No lowered inhibitions. No false sense of self. Just me. During this time, I have been ruminating over writing an article about my decision to quit drinking and the overall obsessive culture around drinking.
As I was casually scrolling Facebook, I came across a Reel with the caption, “How to Drink Responsibly When You’re Pregnant.” That finally made me realize I had to write this because WTF! Well, in this video, you see a woman going to the fridge and grabbing a beer; she then walks outside and ends her instructional video by handing the beer to her husband and saying, “Don’t!” You can imagine my relief because surely someone who looked to be seven months pregnant wouldn’t be encouraging expectant mothers to drink. I then venture into the comments and lose faith in humanity for the tenth time this week.
Women were not only letting the world know drinking during pregnancy is totally fine, but they were shaming this woman for choosing not to drink while pregnant. I was dumbfounded! One woman proclaimed she had a glass of wine weekly during her pregnancies because of the “nutrients.” Another Mom Of The Year introduced me to the term “Cannamom”. See, they are moms who smoke marijuana while pregnant, and the woman, who I presume to be their founder after her lengthy post, guarantees us they are much better than moms who drink alcohol during pregnancy. (They are indeed NOT better than women who drink during pregnancy.) Other women wanted to reassure us that having a little red wine is okay, and it’s true because their doctors told them so. I’m sure that’s why, in the early 80s, the surgeon general declared that there is no safe amount of alcohol for expectant mothers to drink because, ya know, this little thing called Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. But by all means, live out your 1950s housewife dream; don’t stop at weekly red wine. You should have bottomless Manhantans at dinnertime, and a pack of Camels at breakfast. Show us how much of a good mom you are.
Other sane women, like myself, could not understand how anyone could be so selfish. One woman sadly commented that she drank wine during her first trimester and ended up having a miscarriage, and said she has a hard time forgiving herself. Don’t worry; the very concerned wino moms rushed to her comment to assure her that it was NOT the wine and that maybe she should stop trying to scare people with her inaccurate information. Wow. At this point, I am so deeply invested in these comments and could not get over how cavalier people were being about this subject. I try to avoid arguing with idiots online, but it’s getting harder.
So, I replied to the one lady, letting her know that wine indeed has no nutrients. She then googled “Does Wine Have Any Benefits?”, screenshotted, and sent the results to me, which read, “Red wine, in limited amounts, has long been thought of as healthy for the heart.” I imagine her hitting send and thinking, “See, I am not a bad mom. Google says so. That’ll teach her.” In her defense, I used to google that phrase often to make myself feel better for drinking a bottle of wine every night. I can’t possibly have a problem if Google says it’s okay, right?
To her dismay, I’ve already done my research. It’s the main reason my cleanse turned into me currently being eight months sober. These heart-healthy compounds she’s referring to are resveratrol, and you’re not getting any benefits from your weekly glass. Red wine has about 1.5 to 3 milligrams of resveratrol per liter. That means that to get the resveratrol dose given to the mice in the Harvard/NIA study (24 mg per kilogram of body weight), a 150-lb person would have to drink 750 to 1,500 bottles of red wine a day. So, you see, you’d be dead before you get any “nutrients” from that wine you’re so severely defending having while pregnant. Which begs the question, why is everyone so defensive over their drinking?
Why are people only labeled “alcoholics” after they’ve decided to stop drinking? Indeed, something MUST be wrong with me for not wanting to drink. I imagine that when I tell people I don’t drink anymore, they run through all the crazy scenarios in their head on why I had to stop. Maybe I was an angry drunk who yelled at my wife after too many bourbons. Perhaps I carried a flask in my purse to work and spiked my morning coffee at my desk. Maybe the alcohol was starting to seep through my pores, and my habit was becoming too much to hide. No one ever assumes it’s simply because you want to be healthier, and alcohol does not constitute a healthy lifestyle, no matter how much you try to twist it.
No one is concerned when you’re posting your cocktails and a glass of nightly wine to your Instagram story. If I were posting my nightly coke or heroin use on the internet, people would be concerned, but no one blinks an eye when it’s alcohol. We should ask ourselves why alcohol is so socially acceptable that pregnant women can proudly get on the internet and brag about their casual drinking when it is estimated that more than 140,000 people (approximately 97,000 men and 43,000 women) die from alcohol-related causes annually, making alcohol the fourth-leading preventable cause of death in the United States behind tobacco, poor diet, and physical inactivity, and illegal drugs.
One of the big rebuttals to this is always, “Everything in moderation.” Well, let me tell you, there is no drinking in moderation. There are no benefits to drinking literal poison, and getting offended when someone states that simple fact should make you wonder why you so badly want your alcohol consumption to be justified. Suppose you ever find yourself on the internet shaming an expectant mother for choosing not to drink. In that case, you should probably reevaluate not only your relationship with alcohol but your entire life. Maybe you’re not an alcoholic, but you definitely have a problem with alcohol.
.